Musings on the Family

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family." - Thomas Jefferson



"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live." - Pope John Paul II

The older I grow, the more and more I realize that the family is a precious gift from God. Unlike friendships, which have merits of their own, the family is an immediate and timeless bond, a connection rooted in ancient history and also in the generations to come. But the real blessing of a family is not its timelessness, but rather the ways in which its timelessness creates an immanent connection in the present. There is something entirely unique about the family unit in comparison to all other relationships we encounter. One is born into a family and grows and blossoms within this unit; a unit where all members share the same foundational ebbs and flows, the same familial joys and struggles, the same wonders and disappointments. The members of a family most often know the quirks and virtues and vices of one another better than any “outsider,” knowledge that can only be developed from those most personal and reliant interactions that occur within a home.

There are dozens of ways in which a family can develop, and each family has its own story. Some families become worn-down and broken by the difficulties in life. Rather than pulling each other up through the courageous road of commitment, family members become frustrated by one another and pull apart from that precious family unit. Some families become ripped apart by philosophical or religious or social differences. But a complete break-down in the family unit is rare precisely because the family unit is so naturally connected to begin with. God began the story of humanity within the context of a family, and although the family unit has been fraught with sin and disappointment from the start, so also was it the very building blocks in which societies were built. God did not want Adam to live alone, and so it was his gift to the singular “self” that he be joined within the tightly woven relational bonds of a family. The family is a magical and mysterious and beautiful thing, and I am immensely grateful to God for this precious gift of natural relationships.

Taking seriously this gift of family is no easy task, and it requires great responsibility, commitment, compassion, and patience. I must demonstrate these virtues to my family members, and I know they have demonstrated these virtues to me time and again. And if family units are the building blocks of society, then the more accomplished family units are in demonstrating these virtues, the more accomplished societies will be in demonstrating these virtues. Pope John Paul II was spot on when he claimed that as “the family” functions, so functions the nation and the rest of the world. There are so many societal issues that stem from the breakdown of the family unit, and for as many public discussions there are regarding “Democrats” or “Republicans” or “socialists” or “capitalists,” I wish there was as much time or thought targeted towards the stabilizing and pivotal roles that families should play.

All that being said, James and I had a fabulous time being home with our families. And although they aren’t perfect, God has granted us the blessing of wonderful and considerate and gracious and generous family members…people that continue to teach us and to mold us and encourage us as we grow 3000 miles away from home.